Ways to Annoy Snape
by TrashyBambi
Summary: A girls journal about How to annoy Severus Snape. Please read and review! PG cuz a lil' cussing. chapter 11 now up!
1. chpt 1

I own the plot and 1 character. J.K. Rowling owns the rest. Please R&R!!  
  
Saturday, August 29th Dear Journal, I was always interested in Snape, but now this interest has come overwhelming. I for one, thinks he's cute, although others may disagree. I don't care what they say. I think the Weasly twins are on to me, so I've decided to start making a list of how to annoy Snape, Anything that won't get me into detention. But if I do get detention, it will just give me more time to annoy him. So I'll think of something soon.  
  
-Nicole  
  
Sunday, September 1st 'Number one- Smile at him' I just got back from the feast, and here I am, in my dormitory. At the feast, I kept looking up at him. It took forever for him to finally notice that I was staring straight at me. He looked at me and I smiled as childish and wide as I could. He looked shocked, and turned away. I ate and every three seconds I would look at Snape.  
  
I smiled at him 6 times and the seventh time I did, he nudged Mad-eye Moody and nodded at me. Mad-eye looked at me and I swear I saw a smile spread across his face. I could hardly contain my laughter. I'll have to work on that. I guess when ever my friends crack a joke, I'll have to practice not laughing.  
  
I'm going to have to come up with some new ideas. I'm hoping I have his class tomorrow.  
  
Talk to you later, -Nicole.  
  
September 2nd, Monday 'Number two- ask something personal'  
  
It's break time right now. And I did have potions today. I was overly excited. Every 5th year at the table groaned, but me. I smiled brightly. Fred looked at me funny and elbowed George. They exchanged looks and went back to breakfast.  
  
In potions we had to do the Horrid Disfiguration potion. It shocked me that he started us off with something so, well, easy. Well, to me it was easy because I'm quite good at potions. I prepared to ask the personal question and raised my hand.  
  
He saw my hand raised and strode over to me. Just to piss him off I smiled widely at him.  
  
He gave me a dirty look and said, "What?"  
  
"Have you ever had a girlfriend?"  
  
The whole class stared in horror at us both. Even the twins' jaws had dropped.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I said, 'Have you"—  
  
"I heard you. Why would you ask such a stupid question during the middle of class?"  
  
"I thought there was no such thing as a stupid question," I remarked, trying to look puzzled.  
  
"Well, there is! Five points from Gryffindor, You idiot girl," he snapped.  
  
He is so rude! It was just a question. What a... never mind, I won't say it.  
  
-Nicole.  
  
September 4th, Wednesday 'Number three- Act blind during class'  
  
I thought this one was good, but I got landed with a detention because of it, and I think I might have some bruises too. Well, anyways, this is what happened.  
  
We were all talking together when he opened up the door, and everyone filed in. I made sure I was last. Then I put my hands out and ran into the wall. He glared at me, but I pretended I didn't notice. Well, duh, I was blind. So all during class, I made sure I could get up and go bump into something. I bumped into a bunch of those Slytherin idiots. They scowled every time.  
  
But, I crossed the line when I ran into one of the potions cabinets. Let's just say that it wasn't pretty. Well, the colors were pretty, but not the mess. Potions and Snape's shouts everywhere. I swear, he would have killed me right there, if all those people weren't there. He roared, "DETENTION AND 25 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" My sight came back then.  
  
Oh well, at least the detention isn't until tomorrow night.  
  
--Nicole  
  
September 6th, Friday 'Number four- Ask 'Why''  
  
It's about 2:00 AM. I just got back from detention with Snape. It was actually kind of fun, because when I was walking there, I thought of a good way to bug Snape; to ask 'why' over and over again. I think it worked too.  
  
I walked down from the common room at 10:00 and strode to the dungeons, trying to think of how I was going to get out of this one. But then I came up with the why thing. So happily I walked down to the dungeons and knocked on Snape's office door. He came to the door and opened it, scowling at the smile on my face.  
  
"Detention is not something to be happy about," he said coldly.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because it is a punishment."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because you were being stupid during class."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know! Ask yourself!" He exclaimed impatiently.  
  
"Why?" I said simply. Obviously, he didn't know this muggle game that little children liked to play.  
  
"Because I don't know the answer!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Arrggghhhhh!!" He screamed angrily, "Get inside now!" He backed away a little to let me through. I went through happily and stood in front of him. He closed the door behind me and looked at me.  
  
"I don't know what you're up to, but I want it to stop," He said, looking me straight in the eye.  
  
Trying to contain my laughter, I said, "Why?"  
  
"I'm not playing this game," he pointed to about 20 cauldrons in front of his desk, "Scrub."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"NOW!" he hollered.  
  
So now I'm back here, with my hands tired as hell. I'm going to bed, and not waking up in the morning. I'm not willing to face him during breakfast tommorow.  
  
--Nicole

Ok please review and maybe give me some ideas! thanks!


	2. chpt 2

September 9th, Monday  
  
Number five- 'Hold your nose.'  
  
The reason I came up with this one is because Fred and George let off some dung bombs in the dormitory and everyone was holding their nose. I thought it would be funny to test this out on Snape.  
  
So today during breakfast, as I walked towards The Great Hall, I spotted Snape. I sped ahead, to get in front of him. When I got close to him, I put my fingers to my nose and held my nostrils shut. I walked by him and gave him a fake, disgusted look. He glared at me but didn't say anything.  
  
Every time I passed him today I held my nose. I swear, if looks could kill then I would be dead.  
  
I went to potions, the last class of today. He got up at the end and walked around looking at everyone's potion. When he got to mine, I put my hand back up to my nose and gave a gagging my noise. I forced myself not to breath, turning my face red. George and Fred, behind me, sniggered.  
  
Snape bent down in front of me, making our faces close. I turned my head back and took a huge gulp of air and then turned back to him.  
  
"Ms. Pierce, is there something wrong with your nose today?" He said silkily.  
  
Acting as if I was gasping for fresh air, I said, "Not at all, Sir."  
  
"Then why are you pinching it closed?"  
  
"It's just that, you umm... seem to have a deathly smell around you."  
  
He straightened up and looked me straight in the eyes. "Then I guess you won't be able to come back to this class. What a shame." He didn't look sincere.  
  
"I'll be able too. Don't worry. I'll fix this problem."  
  
I found it funny. And as I said it, I figured out my new idea.  
  
---Nicole.  
  
September 11th, Wednesday  
  
Number six 'Give him soaps and shampoo'  
  
After I worte on Monday I sent an owl to a wizard shop that sells muggle things. I bought one of those little gift bags filled with little soap samples and shampoo samples. I bought two bags. When it arrived I laughed my head off. But anyways I'll tell you what happened.  
  
I woke up at 6:50 a.m. and went down to the main hall. Everyone always gets up around 7:00 to go down there. So I made sure I was there first. I went to Snapes' spot at the table and put one of the soap packets on his chair. I put a hair clip facing upwards on his seat so once he sat down he would not sit on the soap.  
  
I giggled and went to my seat at the Gryffindor table. Everyone started piling inside. Fred and George sat across from me and raised their eyebrows.  
  
"Just watch Snape." I told them simply. Soon the tables filled up with tasty food and Snape slipped in from one of the back doors.  
  
He quickly strode to his chair and sat down. But as soon as his bottom was on the chair he jumped back up and gave a yelp of pain. Rubbing his bottom and obviously not paying attention to everyone watching him, he looked down at his chair. He picked the packet up and opened. He looked somewhat afraid to open it but did anyways. He looked inside and took out one of the bars of soap.  
  
He cautiously lifted the soap to his nose and sniffed. He scowled at it and dropped it back onto his chair. He looked around the Great Hall and quickly took his hand off his butt, which he was still rubbing. His eyes turned to me and he glared.  
  
I did this again I potions, causing him to try and take points off. George and Fred barged in and told him that I was just giving him a little present. Snape scowled and decided not to take the points off after all.  
  
--Nicole.  
  
September 13th, Friday Number seven- 'Fanclub'  
  
We go on a Hogsmeade trip later today and I have found out that Snape is going. I dug up some money from the bottom of my chest and I'm going to pay a group of 3rd years to follow Snape around and ask him for his autograph. Like a Snape fanclub. I'm going to pay them to do it, because they wouldn't do it without getting paid for it. He can't take points off at Hogsmeade, so I thought it was great. I'll write later to tell you what happened. --Nicole  
  
Later  
  
Well, the third years did it. I went to a bunch of shops and often saw them. But when I didn't see them they told me what they did. They said when they first saw him they followed him closely. He heard them and turned around asking them what they were doing. One of them held out a notebook and asked him for his autograph. He pushed it away and walked faster. But of course they still followed.  
  
They said that they think they pissed him off pretty well. That made me happy. I caught them chasing after him and knew that he had to know that I was the owner of the club. So I told them to tell him. They did and everytime he saw me he would glare. I didn't mind that much, at least he was noticing me.  
  
--Nicole.  
  
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Empress T'Pau – I'm glad you enjoy it and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Thank you for the great ideas. Retarded Bumfluff – Thank you for the great ideas. They came in handy. ( Ethra Esme - I'm glad you like it. I guess Snape torturing is funny. Kckfchicks – I'm happy that you like my story. It would be funny to use those things on your teachers! J Black – Here you go (  
  
Please give me few more ideas! 


	3. chpt 3

Wow! I'm so happy that everyone likes my story so much! ( Ok, thanks for the great ideas, their awesome! Ok and now on with the story!!  
-- --  
  
September 16th, Monday  
  
Number eight – 'Help!'  
  
I found this extremely funny!  
  
In the morning I was standing around with my friends outside of the Great Hall. Snape came up behind us and said, "Inside." I looked at him with a frightened expression. I quickly sat on the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees. I started chanting, "I'm a happy child. I'm a happy child."  
  
He stared at me like I was on drugs or something. He started to say something but Liz got in the way. "Professor maybe if you leave she'll be alright." He glared at her and stormed into the Great Hall. I laughed and stood up, dusting off my bottom.  
  
When I went to potions class I didn't do it for the whole period, only when he came near me and spoke to me. I think he was purposely talking to me, just to get me o be frightened. I think he likes to have people afraid of him. How pathetic! Oh well. Anyways, I'm going to have to think of more ways to torture him.  
  
--Nicole  
  
September 18th, Wednesday Number nine – 'Make-up'  
  
Well, I found all my muggle make-up when I cleaned out my trunk last night. Compact, acne hider, lipstick, eye shadow, and perfume. So when I went to class today I had a little fun with Snape.  
  
I walked in and made sure that Snape noticed that I took a huge whiff of the air.  
  
"Something wrong with your nose again?" He asked from behind me.  
  
I turned around in a flash and sprayed him with my perfume. He gagged for a minute, as if I had sprayed it in his mouth. He grabbed it and threw it in a near by trashcan.  
  
"What was that?!" he yelled at me.  
  
"It was coconut perfume. It smelt better than you do!" I said, acting angry.  
  
"Excuse me?" He said, staring me in the eye.  
  
"You heard me!" I yelled into his face. From my purse I pulled out my acne hider. He didn't see me do it because he was still looking me in the eye. In a second I had wiped a little across his cheek.  
  
"What the..."  
  
"Acne hider silly. You seem to need it."  
  
"You wiped some muggle stuff on me?!" I could tell he was angry.  
  
"Why, yes I did." I said calmly.  
  
"You have been asking for a detention for quite sometime Ms. Pierce. Detention, tommorow night at eight, now go sit down."  
  
I was aiming for detention anyways, because I have a great idea.  
  
--Nicole  
  
September 19th, Thursday Number ten – "Pink and fluffy"  
  
I just got back from detention and I don't think he has noticed the things I put in his office. Well, I'll explain.  
  
When I got to his classroom, he told me that the headmaster had to see him and he might be back a little late. So of course he gave me disgusting things to do. He told me to clean up the slime from the bottom of a cabinet, and to dust his cabinet that's filled with body parts.  
  
So he left and I got to it. Well, not to the cleaning but to the prank. In my backpack I had a bunch of fluffy pink hearts and smiley faces and a whole bunch of things. And the best part about these items is that they don't come off for a whole week. If you try to magic them off, then that just keeps adding days! I'm so bad.  
  
I put the things up in his office. I took down his clock and put up a fuzzy pink one. I took away all his pens and put fuzzy pink ones. I looked around and noticed that he didn't have any pictures, but I had brought some fuzzy pink picture frames. So I just put them up with nothing inside of them. Soon enough, some pictures would come wandering in them and planting their butts here, then annoying Snape out of his mind.  
  
Brilliant!  
  
When I was done I hurriedly did my detention jobs and left in a flash. He probably just got back and is screaming his head off.  
  
--Nicole.  
  
Please read and review! More ideas please. 


	4. chpt 4

Oh, don't sue me! The disclaimer- J.K. Rowling owns pretty much all of this! Don't sue! L.O.L....  
  
September 20th, Friday. Number eleven- 'Make comments'  
  
Well today in class I think that he found the pink stuff. He was using a pink fluffy pen! How hilarious. Everyone was staring at him. He eve took 5 points off of Slytherin! We were so shocked! Ok well, on with my little joke.  
  
When he came near me I said to him, "Did you get a tan Professor?"  
  
He looked at me like I was crazy and walked away. I didn't even get a yes or no. But obviously he didn't. He never does. I think he sits in the dungeons all day, observed in potions. What a weird person.  
  
Every time I got a chance, I would ask him something. Like, "Did you get a haircut?" or "You just have to tell me the shampoo you use." It was so fun. He never said anything to me. Just shook his head and walked away. I should have started to cry, it would have made him feel bad, or at least I hope it would. He needs to feel bad for all these things he does to us.  
  
September 22nd, Sunday Number twelve- 'LOSER!'  
  
Sorry I never got a chance to write yesterday. But I'll tell you what I did to poor little Snapey-poo. You know those little Post-Its? They came in handy, very handy! I took my wand and did a little spell that made 'Loser' flash on each and everyone of them.  
  
I went to the beginning of the dungeons and again with my wand I made them fly onto the walls of the dungeons, going all the way down to the classroom.  
  
I did a little spell and now, like the fluffy stuff, it will stay for a while. Poor Snape. Now when we go to class tommorow everyone will laugh and laugh and laugh at Snape. I know it's mean, but oh well. He's mean to us!  
  
So what should it matter?  
  
Right?  
  
Right! Then why do I feel so guilty? Oh well. I'll get over it.  
  
Hopefully...  
  
-Nicole  
  
September 23rd, Monday Number thirteen- 'Love...'  
  
Dear Severus, I've been watching you for quite some time now. I watch you when you're walking, breathing, eating, teaching, and sleeping. Well, the sleeping thing isn't often. You know me and I happen to be very lucky to know you. Make my dreams come true and love me the way I love you. You happen to be very friendly to me. And I want you to be even friendlier to me. Hold me, touch me, heal me Severus! Please, oh please! I love more then life itself. Let us fight away these fears together. Let us cry, be angry, and be happy together. Forever I want to hold you. Will my wishes ever come true? Maybe not. Especially if I sign this anonymous, which I will. I do not want you to know who I am. Not yet anyways. Be patient and soon enough I reveil the real me.  
Love, Anonymous.  
  
Well, that's the letter I sent to Snape this morning. I am a little witch! Well, I am. Ha. I'm a witch with a 'B'. It's so fun to torture people.  
  
I kind of still feel guilty. But I'm angry at myself for feeling this way. This is supposed to be fun! Not something to feel bad about. It's not like he cares very much.  
  
Or does he?  
  
-Nicole  
  
September 25th, Wensday Number fourteen – 'I'm not touching you!'  
  
I went to class today and had a lot of fun. When I saw Snape comeing towards me I asked him if he liked to be touched.  
  
"No I don't actually, so don't."  
  
"Ok," I replied. Then I took my finger and put it really close to his arm.  
  
"Don't touch me Ms. Peirce."  
  
"I'm not touching you!" I said, "I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!"  
  
"Yes I heard you."  
  
"I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you..."  
  
"I know that. Don't get so close to me."  
  
"...I'm not touching you ! I'm not touching you!"  
  
He said something under his breath and walked to his desk. I withdrew my finger and went back to my potion.  
  
When class was over I went to his desk and put my finger not even an inch from his arm. "I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you..."  
  
"I know Ms. Pierce, now leave."  
  
"... I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!"  
  
"OUT OF MY CLASSROOM NOW!"  
  
I jumped like a foot in the air and dashed out of the room.  
  
Ok I guess I don't feel really guilty now that he yelled at me. I guess that's what I was hoping for.  
  
-Nicole 


	5. chpt 5

September 27th, Friday. Number 15 – 'distracted'  
  
You know how when someone is talking to you and you become bored and interested in something else? Yeah, well, it's called distracted. Kind of like in Professor Binns class, everyone becomes distracted with something else. I usually become distracted in how odd my quill looks. You might think that's boring, but not as boring as Binns classes are.  
  
So anyways, when I was in Snape's class, I would look at something or do something and become distracted. He didn't make us make potions today. He talked instead, which is good, because it gave me a lot of time to become distracted.  
  
He walks around when he talks, and every time he came close enough to me, I would become distracted in something. As in... the desk, my fingernails, my shoes, the chalk board, something on the wall, something on his shelves, etc... Then, when he came over to me, he stopped speaking and just looked down at me for a moment.  
  
"Ms. Pierce? Is there something interesting on the wall that you'd like to share with the rest of the class?"  
  
I looked up at him, opened my mouth, closed it, and looked at a button on his robes.  
  
"What are you staring at?"  
  
I looked back at him, opened my mouth, closed it again, stared at the chalkboard past him, and said "wow".  
  
"What is so interesting?" he demanded.  
  
"Just the chalkboard," I said, not taking my eyes off of it.  
  
"It's more interesting than what I'm saying about poisonous mushrooms?"  
  
I nodded my head.  
  
"Pay attention before I get impatient!"  
  
I took my eyes off the chalkboard and focused on him.  
  
He looked at me for a second and then went back to talking, "Now, these mushrooms are purple with..."  
  
I went back to staring at the wall.  
  
Nicole.  
  
September 28th, Saturday Number sixteen, 'huh?'  
  
I know this is kind of mean, but it was so funny.  
  
My friends stand right outside of the great hall before each meal, just to piss Snape off. Every morning he comes by and tells us to get inside, even though there is no real rule that we're not suppose to stand there. But he tells us to get inside anyways.  
  
But today, when he came over to us and told us to get inside, I stood where I was and just stared at him blankly.  
  
"Get inside!" he repeated.  
  
"What? I – can't – under – stand – you." I said slowly.  
  
"Why are you talking like that? Are you really that slow?"  
  
"What – are – you – saying?"  
  
Basically, I was trying to make him look like a fool by getting him to talk slow.  
  
"I'm saying get inside before I have to take points from you."  
  
I looked at my friends blankly too. I turned back to Snape and said, "Sir – your – words- are – not- clear."  
  
"Stop it! I'm speaking very clearly!"  
  
"What?" I stuck my finger in my ear and twisted it, as if trying to get the gunk out."  
  
"Get – inside- the – great – hall – before- I – take- points – off – of – your- house!" he yelled.  
  
People that were standing close looked at him as if he was crazy.  
  
"Oh. Ok." I said and walked inside smiling to myself.  
  
It was funny!  
  
Nicole  
  
I'm sorry everyone for this short chapter. I promise the next chapter will be longer and funnier. Please review and give me a couple ideas! Thanks everyone! 


	6. chpt 6

Ok, I have to admit that I did go to mugglenet.com to get some ideas. So thanks mugglenet! Number 19 is not offensive! I do it!  
  
September 30th, Monday. Number 17 – 'Angry Today'  
  
Everyday Snape looks really angry. I wish I knew why. Well, maybe because he really wants Mad-eye's job. But that's beside the point. Anyways...  
  
As usual I was standing outside of the Great Hall, talking to my friends when I happened to see Snape walking towards us, as grumpy as ever. I skipped happily to him and stopped in front of him.  
  
He sighed and said, "What now Ms. Pierce?"  
  
"I just want to let you know that you look extremely mean and angry today."  
  
He looked at me with his eyebrows raised, apparently lost for words. He walked past me and into the Great Hall.  
  
"You do!" I yelled after him.  
  
During class today when he came by I shivered on purpose.  
  
"Wow Professor. You seem really mean and scary."  
  
It could have been just been me, but I think he seemed rather pleased. I don't know, it could've been just me.  
  
-Nicole  
  
October 1st , Wendsday Number 18- 'Happy Thoughts'  
  
My Dad who is completely I to happy things sent me a letter last night telling me I should always think happy thoughts. Yeah... ok...  
  
Anyways, I thought this would be fun to try on Snape. I practiced my best Trelawny voice and headed down to the great hall, where my friends were already standing.  
  
I talked to them, always looking over my shoulder for Snape. I finnaly found him and went dodging to him.  
  
"Yes, Ms. Pierce?" He said threw gritted teeth.  
  
"I think you need to work on your happy thoughts Professor Snape. Here let's try. Think about fluffy clouds and pink bunnies, butterflys and peace. Are you thinking Professor?"  
  
"No." he said and pushed past me. I ran after him and said, "Pink bunnies are happy!"  
  
He spun around and I almost crashed into him. "Ms. Pierce, I don't do happy thoughts. Leave me to my own thoughts."  
  
I looked up at him sweetily, "I know a great therapist. Would you like to go meet up with him?"  
  
"I'll pass." He spun around and sped into the Great Hall, without even telling my friends to get inside. I walked back to them and they burst out laughing. I laughed along with them until we decided to go eat breakfast.  
  
During class when ever I could I would say, "happy thoughts," to him. My friends found it extremely funny.  
  
Nicole  
  
August 3rd, Friday Number 19 – 'Yoga'  
  
YES! FRIDAY!  
  
Ok, my Dad also does yoga and he thinks it releases stress and anger. By stretching yourself out you become happier? I don't get it...  
  
Well, I tried this on my favorite teacher also.  
  
When I saw him coming I went up to him. Wow, was he irritated?  
  
"Professor, forget what I said about a therapist. Yoga would help you way more."  
  
"Yoga?"  
  
"It's a muggle thing. You stretch your body out in all different directions," He flinches at this, "and it relieves stress and anger."  
  
"Yoga sounds like something stupid."  
  
"No, it's not!"  
  
"Get to breakfast."  
  
"Yes Sir!" I say and salute him.  
  
He looks at me funny and walks into the great hall.  
  
I couldn't do much during class, expet I did give him some little business cards with the phone number to a couple of yoga places.  
  
-Nicole 


	7. chpt 7

October 6th, Monday Number 20 – 'Stress ball'  
  
You know what's fun? Stress balls. They are great. Fred and George got me to get a bunch and we got like 50 and we were throwing all around the common room. When it was all over I found about 25 of them.  
  
_Dear Professor Snape,  
  
These are stress balls. When ever you have the urge to yell at somebody, just grab one of these and relieve all your anger and stress. So enjoy and maybe you will become happier someday.  
  
Sincerely yours, Nicole Pierce_  
  
That's the note I put on his desk along with 10 stress balls in a basket. Then I put the last 15 on the floor around his desk. When he came he looked at them with a slightly confused look on his face. He went to his desk and picked up the note.  
  
I sat there with my hands folded and a smile across my face. I watched him read it and his eyes travel up and then into my eyes.  
  
He crumbled up the note and threw it in the garbage can. My smile faded.  
  
-Nicole  
  
October 8th, Wednesday Number 21 – 'Severus!'  
  
Guess what I figured out the other day? That Professor Snape's first name is Severus! Wow. I was just trying to figure out how the hell you get a first name like that. Anyways, I thought it would be quite entertaining if I called him by his first name.  
  
So when I was standing out in front of the hall this morning I looked for him. When I finally saw him I waved at him and said, "Hi Severus!"  
  
He stopped dead in his tracks but then walked even faster to me. He bent down so our faces were even and he hissed, "What did you call me?"  
  
"I called you Severus, silly."  
  
"What in the world gives you the right to call me by my first name?"  
  
"I don't know. Calling you 'Professor' all the time gets quite boring, don't you think?"  
  
"No. I don't think so. I don't think you have the right to call me Severus."  
  
"I don't see what the big deal is Severus."  
  
"Stop it! And get into breakfast."  
  
"O.k." I said as he glided into the Great Hall. "See you later Severus!" I saw his muscles get tense, but he kept walking anyways. I gave my friends high fives and went into the Great Hall.  
  
I stopped calling him Severus when he took 20 points from Gryffindor. He calls us by our first name, why can't we call him by his first name? Whatever.  
  
- Nicole  
  
October 10th, Friday Number 22 – '1, 2, 3'  
  
I can count. That's obvious though. But I want Snape to know that I can count. He's going to think I'm an idiot for it though. Oh well. Ha ha ha.  
  
Anyways, I don't really have to say this because you probably already know it by heart. But I'll say it anyways. I was standing in front of the Great Hall with my friends.  
  
And then my dear friend Severus came striding along.  
  
"Professor! Professor!" I said joyfully, skipping towards him.  
  
"What?" He said sourly.  
  
"1. 2. 3. 4 –"  
  
"You can count. Amazing." He said sarcastically.  
  
"5. 6. 7. -"  
  
He pushed past me to get to The Great Hall.  
  
I called after him, "8. 9. 10!"  
  
Later in class I counted under my breath and then when he came close enough I would count a little bit louder. Just so he could hear my magnificent counting and me. I'm so good at counting!  
  
-Nicole

Thank you everyone to the great reviews!!


	8. Chpt 8

**Sorry for the delay. I went up north for 3 weeks and just got back a couple days ago. I think I'm only going to do one entry a submission.**

October 13th, Monday 'Drum roll'

Class, today, boring as always. It was double potions. Maybe boring to others but not for me, well, that's because I always have a great way to annoy Snape. Today, I decided to play the drums with my fingers at every moment I could.

When we walked into class I sat down in front of Fred and George. I looked back at them, gave them a smile and then turned to the front.

When Snape started speaking I started tapping my fingers on my desk. He looked at me and continued. So I decided to tap louder on my desk. He looked back at me and started to walk towards me. I pretended not to notice and drummed my fingers, just a bit louder.

When he was in front of me he looked down at me and said-

"Do you mind?"

"Mind what?" I asked stupidly.

"Stop with the noise." He said darkly.

"What noise?" I asked. Then I looked down at my fingers still drumming on the desk.

"Ohhh..." I said and then smiled brightly up at him.

He scowled.

"Is it annoying you?" I asked sweetly.

"Yes."

"Well, it's not annoying me. It's got a good beat." Then I started drumming my fingers again.

"Stop it." He hissed.

I continued, and then, just to push his buttons a little more, I started humming.

"Stop." He said dangerously.

I looked back at him.

"What?" You don't like muggle music or something? Sheesh, what's wrong with you?" I said, rolling my eyes.

"No, I don't particularly like muggle music, or in that case, muggles." He said. By this point he was leaning over my desk and looking straight at me, ignoring anything else in the room.

"Stop..." he said, about ready to explode.

"You haven't been using your stress balls, have you Professor?" I say, wiggling a finger at him.

By that time, he almost did explode. Poor guy. But then again it was funny.

-Nicole.


	9. Chpt 9

**October 15th, Wednesday. Number 24 – 'Hunting Season'**

Class was fun today. I had the whole classroom laughing. I came to class wearing a bright orange vest, and bright orange shoes. I also had orange reflectors all over my pants. When I stepped into class everyone stared. Snape was not there, he was in his office with the door shut.

"Nicole! What are you wearing?" Said Fred between laughs.

"Orange." I said, without laughing. I then heard Snape's office door open and I whipped back around and folded my hands on the desk. A lot of the people in the classroom were sniggering and chuckling as Snape caught site of what I was wearing.

He walked over to me and glared down at me. I looked up at him, and in return I smiled at him.

"It's the new style Professor." I said calmly, while he fumed at me. "You should try it, instead of wearing black all the time."

It looked like he was furious. By now the whole class was either laughing out loud or trying to hold there laughs in. But Snape didn't care what they did at that moment. He only wanted to deal with me.

Aren't I lucky?

"I would never dress in that hideous color. You look like you're hunting."

"Proffesor, I wore this just for you. This way, you can never lose me!" I said joyfully.

Everyone in the classroom was laughing there heads off, seeing that Snape didn't care if they did. But not me. I kept a straight face.

I've been practicing lately. Anyways...

"You really think I want to be able to see you?" he asked meanly.

"Why not? Am I not evil enough for you?"

"Evil has nothing to do with it."

I put a blank look on my face. "What were we talking about?"

"Your disgusting orange vest. If you want to be a pumpkin, go sit in Hagrid's garden." He said, pointing at the door.

"Hey! Hagrid has nothing to with orange vests." I said.

"Don't talk to me like that. 5 points from Gryffindor." He said.

I growled at him, but did not press the subject any further.

-Nicole.


	10. Chpt 10

October 17th, Friday. Number 25 – 'Jingle Bells'

Wow. Jingle bells are so annoying. And when I though this, I remembered Snape. Ok, so annoying and Snape just kind of go together now. Some how, George and Fred got their hands on little jingle bells. They rang them for hours through out the whole common room. I had a huge headache by the time I decided to go to bed last night.

But then, while I lied in bed, I thought about them and how great they would be with Snape.

So I went back down stairs and asked Fred And George if I could borrow there jingle Bells. Of course they said 'yes.'

So then I went back up stairs and got all the yarn I could find and tied the bells to my outfit for the next day. Lucky me, I have potions first thing in the morning, when Snape is already irritated.

I guess he's not a morning person.

I walked into class, my whole body rings loudly. Snape, who was sitting at his desk, deeply absorbed into something, shot his head up to see what all the noise was. I walked to my desk and sat down.

But of course I wasn't comfortable, so I had to change positions. And my bells rang loudly.

I swear Snape's eye was twitching.

I raised my hand, and without being called on I started talking.

"Professor Snape, I know you didn't like my orange clothes Wednesday. So I put on the Christmas bells on my clothes, so now you can't lose me for sure."

I smiled brightly at him.

He grumbled something under his breath and got up to teach the class. I obviously wasn't being loud enough so I shifted around in my seat. He looked at me from the front of the classroom.

But then he ignored me and went back to lecturing.

So I shifted around in my seat just a little more.

He again looked at me. And then he walked to me. I waved at him, as he got close. The bells on my sleeve jingled and rang throughout the classroom.

He stopped in front of my desk and glared down at me. I looked at him and kind of wiggled in my seat. Making more noise. I guess he had nothing to say. He was obviously very irritated and didn't feel like yelling at anyone. Very unusual.

- Nicole


	11. Chpt 11

October 20th, Monday. Number 26 - 'Crayons'

My whole family sent me a bunch of things for my birthday, which was yesterday by the way. Anyways, my baby brother sent me a couple of his crayons, just because he's little and doesn't understand that I have to use quills here. So I decorated the cover of this journal and put them in my backpack for safe keeping.

Or if I got bored in class I would have something to do.

So I had potions last thing today because I always have it last on a Monday. What a great ending on such a great day. So I was looking through my very unorganized backpack, looking for a quill so I could write down some notes, when my hand wrapped around a fat crayon. I took it out and wondered what Professor Snape would think if I write in crayon.

So I took them out and lined them all carefully along my desk at the top of my paper. I took the pink one and started writing notes on what Snape was saying. But I got distracted and startedmakinglittle hearts and cute little pictures on my parchment. I used blue, green, orange, red, and many other bright colors. I made sure not to use any dull colors.

When class was over he had us come up so he could see what we had written. I was last in line with a huge smile across my face. When I finnally got to his desk he scowled at my much-too-happy face. He took my paper with a quick snatch and looked down at it.

A confused sort of look came across his face.

"What is this?"

"My notes, Sir." I replied, trying with all my self control to not laugh.

"What are all these colors from?" He asked.

"My writing utencils." And I took out a couple of my crayons.

He took them from me and examed them closely. How could anyone never seen crayons before?!

"Sir, they're only crayons." I explained, "a thing muggles color with."

He looked up at me and with one long hand broke all the crayons in his hand. On his face a haunting smile formed. I took a step from his desk. he stood from his chair slowly, but before he could stand up completly straight, I was out of there.

Obviously he thinks that two can play this game.

I think not...

-Nicole

* * *

I got the crayon idea from the Clan O' five. Sorry if there are in spelling mistakes. And Im so sorry for the _huge_ delay. I hope you enjoy. 


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